More Than Just Tired: How Camouflaging Can Drain Neurodivergent People

Why am I so tired?

Have you ever wondered why you feel exhausted after a normal day, while everyone else seems to have the energy to carry on with theirs?

Maybe you get home from school or work after what felt like a good day, but suddenly you have absolutely nothing left. No energy to socialise, make decisions, or do much of anything. You might genuinely enjoy spending time with others, yet still come home feeling completely drained.

For some neurodivergent people, this exhaustion may come not just from what they’re doing, but from the extra effort it takes to navigate everyday expectations.

What is Camouflaging?

Camouflaging refers to the different ways Neurodivergent people may adjust or manage how they behave in social situations to fit in or meet the expectations of the social world around them (Cook et al., 2021). The Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire (CAT-Q) describes three main forms of camouflaging: compensation, masking and assimilation (Hull et al., 2019). While each looks slightly different, they can all require additional mental effort to navigate everyday social situations.

Compensation involves learning strategies to navigate social situations, such as watching others, learning social rules or rehearsing conversations.

Masking involves hiding or suppressing neurodivergent traits, such as forcing eye contact, hiding sensory discomfort or suppressing stimming.

Assimilation includes trying to fit or blend in with others, such as changing how you act or following what others are doing (Hull et al., 2019).

Research suggests that camouflaging may differ by gender, with analysis finding that Autistic females reported higher overall camouflaging, particularly through masking, compared to autistic males (Cruz et al., 2025; Hull et al., 2021). This is important to consider, as greater camouflaging may make Autistic traits less visible to others, potentially contributing to Autism being overlooked or identified later, particularly in women and girls.

Camouflaging isn’t always a conscious choice. Some strategies may be used consciously, while others may happen without the person realising they are doing them (Cook et al., 2021). Camouflaging can serve an important purpose. It may help someone navigate different social situations, feel safe, connect, and avoid negative reactions. However, it can also come at a cost. Camouflaging, specifically masking, has been linked with exhaustion and burnout, poorer mental health, difficulties with identity, and delayed or missed identification of Autism (Pearson & Rose, 2021).

Why is it so draining?

Masking takes mental energy. Imagine going through your day while also thinking about how much eye contact you’re making, what your face is doing, whether you’re talking too much or too little, and what you should say next. At the same time, you might be pushing through sensory discomfort or stopping yourself from doing things that naturally help you regulate.

It can be like having an extra layer of thinking running in the background all day. Even when masking becomes so familiar that you barely notice you’re doing it, all that extra effort can still add up.

Often, it’s when you get home that the mask starts to drop. There may be less pressure to monitor how you act, respond in the “right” way, sit still, make eye contact, or push through discomfort.

And that can be when the exhaustion really hits. Once the demands of the day ease, you may finally realise just how much energy you were using to get through it.

When this extra effort happens day after day, the exhaustion can build up over time. Research with Autistic adults has linked ongoing masking with experiences of burnout, where people can feel increasingly exhausted and have less capacity to manage everyday demands (Clarey et al., 2026).

Welcome to Flurb World

Henderson, Wayland and White (2023) ask us to imagine being dropped into a strange new world called “Flurb World.”

Everyone speaks Flurb and follows strange social rules. Maybe you have to touch your nose before answering a question, never say someone’s name at lunchtime, or stand a certain way when talking. No one explains these rules; you’re just somehow expected to know them.

So, you watch, copy and practise until you get pretty good at being a Flurb. But imagine having to do that all day, every day with never ending new social rules to learn. You’d probably be pretty tired too.

What can help?

Masking isn’t always a negative thing and even neurotypical people can mask sometimes to. It can serve an important purpose in many people’s lives, whether that’s helping someone navigate different social situations, feel safe, or connect with others. So, the goal isn’t necessarily to stop masking altogether. Instead, it can help to notice when masking becomes exhausting and consider where you can reduce that extra load.

Research on autistic burnout suggests that rest, time alone, sensory relief, greater self-understanding, and support from others can all help (Ali et al., 2025).

In everyday life, this might mean noticing which situations require more masking and giving yourself time to recover afterwards. It could mean reducing sensory or social demands where possible, spending time with people you feel comfortable masking less around, or simply getting to know your own needs a little better. Sometimes, it might also involve asking for adjustments at work, school or home that make things feel more manageable.

While we can’t always change the environments that make masking feel necessary, we can change the way neurodivergence is understood and supported. This is at the heart of neurodiversity-affirming practice.

How can Therapy Help?

Neurodiversity-affirming practice accepts and values different ways of thinking, communicating and experiencing the world. Rather than trying to make someone appear more neurotypical, it focuses on understanding their individual needs, validating their experiences, and supporting their wellbeing and goals (Flower et al., 2025).

In therapy, this might involve identifying when and why you camouflage, noticing the situations that require the most effort, and understanding the needs you may be overlooking or pushing through. A therapist can then work with you to find practical ways to reduce this load, such as communicating your needs, setting boundaries, making sensory adjustments, planning recovery time, or finding safer situations where you feel able to camouflage less. The goal isn’t to stop camouflaging altogether, but to help you have more choice over when and how you use it.

This greater choice can look different for everyone. It might involve small changes, such as allowing yourself to stim when you feel safe, taking a break rather than pushing through overwhelm, using headphones in noisy environments, or being more open about needing extra time to process or recharge. The focus isn’t on unmasking everywhere, but on finding ways to reduce some of the effort involved where it feels safe and helpful to do so.

This can be difficult to figure out on your own, particularly if camouflaging has become automatic or you’re not quite sure what your needs are underneath it. Therapy can provide a supportive space to explore this at your own pace. With a neurodiversity-affirming therapist, you can begin to recognise what drains your energy, better understand your needs and limits, and experiment with practical changes that make everyday life feel more manageable. Rather than simply telling you to “unmask,” therapy can help you work out what feels comfortable, realistic and safe for you.

Sometimes, feeling less exhausted isn’t about doing less; it’s about having to work less hard to be yourself.

References

Ali, D., Bougoure, M., Cooper, B., Quinton, A. M. G., Tan, D., Brett, J., Mandy, W., Maybery, M., Magiati, I., & Happé, F. (2025). Burnout as experienced by autistic people: A systematic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 122, 102669. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2025.102669

Clarey, M. M., Ireland, M. J., Abel, S., & Brownlow, C. (2026). Beyond exhaustion: Shame, identity disruption, and functional collapse in autistic burnout. Autism: The International Journal of Research and Practice, 30(6), 1519–1531. https://doi.org/10.1177/13623613261444797

Cook, J., Hull, L., Crane, L., & Mandy, W. (2021). Camouflaging in autism: A systematic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 89, 102080. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2021.102080

Flower, R. L., Hedley, D., Spoor, J. R., & Dissanayake, C. (2025). Defining neurodiversity affirming psychology practice for autistic adults: A Delphi study integrating psychologist and client perspectives. Autism in Adulthood. https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2024.0305

Henderson, D. A., Wayland, S. C., & White, J. (2023). Is this autism? A guide for clinicians and everyone else. Routledge.

Hull, L., Mandy, W., Lai, M. C., Baron-Cohen, S., Allison, C., Smith, P., & Petrides, K. V. (2019). Development and validation of the Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire (CAT-Q). Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 49(3), 819–833. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-018-3792-6

Hull, L., Lai, M. C., Baron-Cohen, S., Allison, C., Smith, P., Petrides, K. V., & Mandy, W. (2020). Gender differences in self-reported camouflaging in autistic and non-autistic adults. Autism, 24(2), 352–363. https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361319864804

Pearson, A., & Rose, K. (2021). A conceptual analysis of autistic masking: Understanding the narrative of stigma and the illusion of choice. Autism in Adulthood, 3(1), 52–60. https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2020.0043